June 14th – How Can I Not Do Something?

Dear me,

Wow, how far have I come?

All I’ve wanted for the past 2 years was for Nick to get his life together and move out. I knew Alex would be going off to school and I was just salivating over the notion of having the house completely to myself. Only child…parenting and therefore sharing my home with a child/children since I was 20. SO READY to start my child free adult stage of life!

Marcus would often say I should ease my financial burdens by renting out Nick’s room. He has always done that at his large family house that had an extra bed/bath downstairs. I would always be horrified. NO WAY! I don’t want to share my house with ANYONE else! Ok, maybe with Marcus eventually, but otherwise NO! I know someday my parents/parent will be living here, but even that is still off in the future enough that I would get my Only Child Castle experience for a chunk of time.

People in general annoyed me. Even sharing the space with my sons was a source of occasional aggravation that put me in a foul mood.

But, since I started meditating, listening to self help teachers (particularly Matt Kahn) and writing in here, my aggravation/annoyance buttons just don’t get activated. People no longer annoy me. In fact, I have started LIKING more people and really enjoying even making small talk and general chatting with anyone I encounter.

So…..flash forward to a few weeks ago when I saw someone I knew on twitter (and who I knew through reputation and common friends) posting about an deteriorating living situation that was starting to hurt her ability to continue her work (which, IMHO is deeply valuable), well I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. She’s local in my city, I believe in her work, I (will) have a spare room as soon as Nick finishes moving out. So, how about I accelerate that move out? She’s willing to trade housework for a roof. I’ve got a long list of To Do items in this house and around the yard. I have *always* wanted to hire a cleaning service. Gosh, have someone vacuum up cat hair more frequently than every other week (or whenever I get too disgusted?) GOLDEN! Clean the carpets upstairs? Dust? Clean mini blinds? Kitchen cabinets? The fridge? Paint the bathrooms? Touch up the rest of the inside paint? Re-paint my front door? Catch up on yard work? Maybe help me design and plant a drought resistant hillside? OMG!

I met her today for coffee. Within 10 minutes I knew. She is one year away from being on her feet. A few good media contracts and she’s set. But she’ll never get them consistently with where she is now. At the least, her sanity will be greatly reduced. I’m sharing my room with her at NN15 in Phoenix. It will be a good test, but I really don’t have any serious doubts. She’s mature, we share a few things in common not the least of which is our political leanings and a love of sports and cats – and she’s an only child too. So she GETS why this is so weird to me! Most of all, she is respectful.

How can I not do something?

Be kind, be loving, just be.

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