June 4th – More messages

Dear me,

Specialness without superiority.

I am the light, the truth, the way. The light, the truth, the way I am. That is your specialness to claim. 

If you want to experience freedom from judgment, then admit you are special

If I admitted how special I am, and gave myself permission to notice the special qualities of others, what would there be left to judge?

And we only judge others, because they are different from me. Of course, they are different – that’s what makes them special!

The more I admit how special I am, the more I come to notice the innocence beauty and specialness of others.

This lesson feels more subtle to my psyche than the last one. Of course, I am also listening to it for a second time and I’ve felt a decrease over the past weeks in my prior tendency to judge others (and myself) harshly. So perhaps it sank in the first time pretty well. Or, maybe it just is so simple that it IS subtle and more *obvious* to my cells/psyche/spirit than other messages.

I certainly have seen the truth in the final line. The more loving and forgiving and gentle that I am with myself, the more I feel the same towards all others.

For instance….my dear oldest son is in jail  – again. Probation violation – again. When this happened in December, I was angry and frustrated and hurt and mustered tons of focus and strength to support him and attend his hearing and show the judge he has a supportive environment and could better serve his probation time and keep his doctors visits and his sobriety by being at home.

Then he does and avoids checking in with his PO – again and is arrested again.

Today I feel….well…this is what works for him. I’m disappointed of course, and I feel badly for his girlfriend who is feeling all those strong emotions that I felt many times in the past. But it’s not something that is mine to absorb. He’s a month shy of 30. This is his path. His life choices. His karma – whatever you want to call it. I feel empathy and, of course, deep love for him, but I cannot change his behavior. I’ll help her figure out how to pay for a phone line so they can talk and walk her through what to do to find out where he is housed and if/when he can be visited or sent any emails, but I am not going to stress about how/when he gets out. That’s on him.

All I can do is send him blessings and love and hope some day he can find his own way to seeing how special he is.

Be kind, be loving, just be.

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One comment

  1. Corina · June 4, 2015

    I’m sorry this has happened again but I think you are doing the right thing. You didn’t make bad choices for him so it is definitely not on you! Remember that.

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