May 17th – One Day at a Time

Dear me,

Cliche title eh? But that’s really how it needs to be right now. I mentioned it on the group call yesterday that since the routine I had established for the last few months has been blown out of the water, I have to find more creative ways to remain in connection with myself. Since my mom is doing very well at the rehab center, I am spending entire days again either at work or, like yesterday, at home. Then on the days I do go to visit, I leave just as they settle in for dinner. So, little chunks of my life are back, but even when I am home I am often deeply focused on their situation, mostly by trying to find other ways to pay for the treatment. Yesterday I spent 2 solid hours filling out a Medical online application. 

So I cannot listen to nice long uplifting podcasts or run regularly, or even just sit in my yard and watch the hummingbirds. 20 minute daily meditations are impossible too.

There is very little in the way of planning. Sure, we know there is a doctor appointment on Teusday so I know that I can go to work Monday. After that everything is up in the air as it depends heavily on what the doctor says.

So my modified self care routine is to wake up trying to remember to say “May I be more loving today than ever” and also finding times to repeat the “I am happy, I am healthy, I am abundant, I am free” mantra. I try to remember to bless people with abundance in my mind as I drive and just walk past people. I write here 6/7 nights per week and I do a 10 minute meditation right before turning out the lights.

In between, I just keep letting the day flow around me, observing, sometimes directing, but always trying to find moments of intimate connection and love. 

All my angst over doing away with judgment seems so distant now! I seriously don’t have TIME to let those kinds of thoughts run through my head! So there’s an effective way to break a bad habit – up end life so that you pretty much haven’t got the energy to do that negative thing anymore 🙂

Thank you for always listening.

Be kind, be loving, just be. 

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