April 29th – I am free

Dear me,

A mantra repeated often by Matt Kahn in the videos I’ve been watching or listening to is this:

“I am healthy, I am happy, I am abundant, I am free.”

It’s a perfect little mantra really. It has a great tempo either to repeat in a speaking tone or even to sing to yourself. I’ve been finding it drops nicely into my head as I run. It gives my mind something to do and it feels good while thinking it.

The interesting thing is that one would assume since I am focusing so much on abundance(finances) and happiness(self-love) that those would be the two that I sink into the deepest. Or maybe healthy because while I am running, I am clearly focusing on doing something for my long term health.

Nope – the one I feel myself mentally underline and say in bold text is I am FREE!

I feel that word internally from my head to my toes.

Because one thing that all of this discovering and changing thinking habits has done is to make me feel FREE. It’s most obvious in relation to money since I no longer view managing the flow of it as a burden. Now, it feels like a game, and I am winning it. It’s FUN. When bills show up I think “Sweet, I can pay that, let’s log into the bank site and schedule that.” It’s lifted such a huge weight off my mind – one I *knew* was there, but I was sort of shoving it over into the corner and treading water and hoping I wouldn’t sink under it. Now, I am surfing on the waves dude!!

I know in my mind my goal of paying off everything except the 1st mortgage the feeling I anticipated having was freedom. But, why wait for that? Why not be free NOW?

And as my insecurities and IMG voices fade away into the distance, I feel free to interact with people with an open mind and heart w/o reservations or judgment.

I am free.

Be kind, be loving, just be.

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