April 21st – Silencing the judgement

Dear me,

In classic universal energy fashion, I listened to hay house radio at just the right time today. Funny thing is, the segment with the message I needed to hear wasn’t even in a show – it was during a break between shows at the top of the hour when they replay snippets from live events.

So what I had been pondering upon discovering that the biggest fear I seem to have is the fear of being found out to be something I am not (a fraud!) is all the times I feel like I’ve “gotten away with one”. I already confessed in an earlier post to the biggest one of those, but there are others of course. Because we are, after all, harshest in judgment upon ourselves, I can think of lots and lots! But there are some Bigger Ticket items. And I was thinking – “should I write confessionals and forgiveness notes for all of those too?”

Does it matter if I do? In some cases they were things I did that could have hurt a company/organization. But in one case I completely *didn’t* get away with it and in another I circled back and made it somewhat right later on without anyone being the wiser. (Yeah, one I got away with). Mind you I am digging back deep into my sketchy earlier decades here 🙂 Most other things that I tend to punish myself for with an IMG lecture are things I *say* to people. And yes, I’ve paid a price because that is what has effectively kept me from having the sorts of deep, connected, loving friendships that I truly want.

This exact topic (old misdeeds) was what came up on the radio segment. And the message was: The universe doesn’t judge – you do. The analogy they gave was to anyone watching a toddler as they learn to walk. Those little legs collapse out from under them a lot – and we don’t say “Hey, you dummy! Get up and get it together!” No – because we know it’s just a toddler *learning* a new skill. Spirit/energy/angels/gods are the same way watching us. We are souls learning skills in each lifetime. We stumble as we learn. We don’t need external judgment and punishment heaped upon us because our own psyches do that. Mind you, I (and they) were of course talking about things that generally do no great harm to anyone. “Spirit doesn’t judge.” It picks you up, tries to console you, hopes you learned and grew stronger from the experience and sets you back on your path – just as you would with a fallen, crying toddler.

So no, I wont dig back and list everything in my past that I’ve done wrong. The universe really doesn’t care. And I don’t either.

One of the other cool things I heard this week was “Nobody is thinking about me.”  That’s true, isn’t it? Nobody is thinking about me. Only me. Other people may love me (and certainly do make me feel loved), but nobody is thinking about ME in the way that I think about me. The minute that is absorbed, then all those expectations of others (which inevitably will disappoint me) dissolve away. There was one person who was created to think/obsesses/love you 24/7. And that is YOU. Or, me..in this case….but…we know what we mean 😉

Be kind, be loving, just be.

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