April 20th – Surprising discovery

Dear me,

Continuing with the Inner Mean Girl book there was a section to identtify which primary fears triggers the appearance of the overly protective IMG. 

I wasn’t surprised that fear of betrayal and rejection got rankings of 7 out of 10. But the one that got a 9? 

Fear of being exposed as a fraud!  Wow. I felt so immediatelt hot under the collar reading it. Fear of people finding out you don’t really know what you are doing and that people will discover how insecure you really are. 

Dang.

Now I undersand why the Overly Optimistic Cheerleader was my highest scoring IMG.

I’m letting that one percolate for a bit. Where was that fear born and bred? 

Does it matter if I figure that out? 

I think what matters still is that I need to develop a deeper love of myself and then that fear will slip away. 

Along those lines I took advantage of the opportunity to play at tap dancing today. Then I watched the hummingbirds chaase each other around the feeder. Most fun of all for me? Tracking Renee was she ran her second Boston Marathon and cheering her on to completely crush last year’s time by over 14 minutes! Timed it so I caught her on the live finish line camera again and shed a tear or twelve as it all unfolded. Nothing makes me happier than seeing my friend’s acheive their dreams!

As Renee wrote later “Today was a GOOD day!”

Yes, it really, really was.

Be kind, be loving, just be.

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