April 8th – Feelin Groovy

Dear me,

After my little hiccup last week one song lyric that has been revolving through my head is “Slow down, you move to fast. Got to make the moment last.”  (I know, it’s morning…but I sing it as moment…more relevant)

I usually stop there, but then just as I sat down to write tonight, and was pondering the day, I just kept thinking that I have quite a bit of gratitude for a day when I have been feeling pretty chill. Or, groovy as it were 😉

I’m trying to not only practice a non-judgmental, loving mindset, but also to practice what I would call a calm focus.

The goal is to not have my inner voice having it’s own dialogue that is disconnected from whatever it is that I am doing. In other words – it’s being truly MINDFULLY present. It’s one thing to do that now. I am, at this moment, literally typing out the words in my head. The bigger thing is to do that when I am feeding the cats or scooping litter or washing dishes or analyzing time sheets, or posting journal entries…or or or. That’s not easy so I am treating as I would any new skillset – practice in small chunks. Tonight I did choose to try it while feeding the cats. There is a routine to it. Get the bowls, get a spoon and a cup of water. Crush Chip’s heart meds. Mix the seafood treats with his kidney friendly wet food. Mix tuna with more of the wet food for Amber’s bowl…etc etc. The whole process is maybe five minutes. It was not easy – but I did it.

The thing is, when I develop this skill more thoroughly, it was will really help my mindset all day.

Yes, it is 2015 and multi tasking seems to be the most highly valued skill ever. I think we’ve defined it incorrectly though. When I am mindfully focused, I get more things done. I feel much MORE flexible so that if an urgent email or a phone call or something comes up that needs to interrupt my current task, I don’t feel my chest constrict and my jaw clench. I used to be SO EASILY aggravated and thrown off center by an interruption! Today though? Eh! No worries. Shift to the new thing, give it full attention, make sure the question is answered completely, then move right back to where I stopped before.

It took me a while to realize how smoothly I handled some of those things today. And, today was ripe for aggravation. The system was back up so everyone had to finish up the entries that should have been done yesterday and then the pressure was on me to run reports and do a first pass review on the statements. I had to fix some things, including something that impacted Carmen’s area so I had to interact with her several times. It wasn’t until I was on my run after leaving work that I reflected on the day and figured out how calm I had been.

Just kicking down the cobblestones. Looking for fun and feeling groovy.

Be kind, be loving, just be.


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