I came to the realization that Carmen lives in constant fear. That’s why she does all of the very annoying things she does – she’s covering her ass from the moment she wakes up until she does to sleep. In every single phase of her life. It’s one huge CYA.
The cross training session planned for yesterday went off without a hitch. Because it was, as I knew, a very simple task. Of course, she assumed the worst. That it would be hard and take hours. When it was done and she said “Oh, I didn’t realize it was this easy.” I responded with “I am not ever going to give you a task that will take you more than an hour without PLENTY of warning and planning.” The look she gave me pretty much said “yeah, you say that, but….”
Sigh – poor woman. I can only assume she was raised in a highly fearful family or that circumstances prior to her coming here drove her to this. But seriously I’ve not met anyone this consistently on the defensive. Trusting no one and assuming many are simply out to get her. I truly, deeply do feel sorry for her. And I know I wont ever overcome that and gain her trust unless she chooses to make some profound changes in her own mindset, but I can, at least, not feed into them. Eggshells are all around, and I am walking gently on them!
Performance evals in May are going to be…….fun!
Meanwhile those tarot cards were interesting eh? As I sit here in limbo twiddling my thumbs trusting that everyone working on my loan is going to come through….OK, not twiddling. I did pull more weeds tonight and get the new table and fountain setup in the prosperity corner position just under the growing tree painting. Was there something in one of those cards about something not being exactly as I expected? Well, the table delivered is not the one I ordered. Same manufacturer, but wrong wood tone and design. Of course, I still like it! It’s nice that it has a little drawer for storage (other one didn’t) and the design has more character. I probably wont fuss over it. While I couldn’t find this exact version on the website, it looks like one quite similar is the same price as what I ordered.
I guess it “fits in” with all my other pretty much miss-matched mish-mash furniture groupings around the house!
I want to expand on the characteristic I referred to as “chill” yesterday. For me, that means not easily offended or ruffled, calm, confident and secure in who he/she is.
I am grateful for learning how to tap into the feeling of being “plugged in” or connected to the energy of the universe. Honestly I feel it by doing what was assigned in that webinar yesterday – just envision my life and how I will feel when all the debts are paid off. I’ve got a pretty good grasp of that again and held it with me all day. It’s amazing how it puts me in a frame of mind that gives me that Girl on Fire feeling!
So I shall take the advice of the tarot cards and just be content where I am…let the people who can help me do what they do…trust that they ARE doing it…keep my little space around me free of old/negative energy and just enjoy being plugged in.