March 20th GGID Journal

Dear me.

First of all universe, can I get a few spirits to wrap my son in New Mexico with bubble wrap or something? He’s having an xray done Tuesday to see if his painful hip is possibly a stress fracture in his pelvis. Lordy! Making this mama’s heart ache thinking about it. Of course, we also laughed at the notion of him having to use a cane for awhile while it heals….gotta keep that sense of humor healthy while the rest of the body falls apart! 10 years of contact sports will do that to a kid I guess ;/

Stayed plugged in to the universe today. The message I heard in the last 24 hours that resonated most with me was a talk by Barbara DeAngelis that was replayed on HayHouse radio as I drove home from work. She spoke about what happens when you “wake up” to the universe. How some people are able to be so intuitive that they can do readings and talk to spirits and essentially become spiritual/psychic leaders and teachers (like her), some can launch careers in coaching or other form of healing that are not quite as in the public eye, perhaps write a book or start their own small business that spreads the messages of healing and awareness. And some just walk around with a spirit about them such that other people can’t quite put their fingers on it as to why, but they realize that just being around that person lifts THEIR spirits somehow.

THAT is what I know I can be. THAT is what I almost NEED to be to counteract what I know to be some not so great behavior in my past. Why do I say that? Because CF was right. I haven’t respected her properly. And I have been sharp tongued with her and verbally “attacked” her (sort of, but in spirit I know I have). Now, she is the ONLY person I’ve spoken with that way in a long time other than my oldest son. HE was the recipient of my scathing judgment and verbal smack downs most regularly. I’ve been able to stop that with him and to treat him with the kindness he deserves (yes, DESERVES no matter what has transpired due to his drug use over the years.) However, in my first 30 years of adulthood, I do not have a great track record. I wasn’t open to people at all – in fact I was often highly irritated by them and mostly impatient as hell. And sadly when you combine that with my deep seeded quality of being direct and honest….well…I may have said some terribly unkind things to at least a dozen or so people. That doesn’t sound like much, but even the fact that I’ve made CF feel that bad plus I know one other co-worker who at least had the character to tell me what I was doing over a decade ago – which only serves to make me kick myself for repeating that pattern again! Marcus used to call me “snappy” and he was also quite right. I sure as heck have been, but I have worked on that and honestly don’t even feel tempted to snap at anyone – except CF!

But that is over.

I think I need to spend the next 30-40 spreading a shit ton of love and joy to balance that out! I don’t want anyone ever again to have to figure out what “mood” I am in.

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