March 11th GGID Journal

Dear me,

So tell me soul – what was today about? I’d love to get some final insight into how I could have handled things differently. For sure I know I should not have jumped quite so quickly when confronted with a person who was already worked up and in her own state of mental/physical distress. But MAN is it absolutely the hardest thing EVER to consistently be kind and patient and apply empathy to this person. Her passive/aggressive completely IN-direct way of communicating just twists me into knots! For sure though, I made things worse. And then defensiveness took hold and she was impossible. I’ve never met such an argumentative soul who has NO CONCEPT that ANYTHING EVER could be wrong with HER. Again – totally flummoxed!

What do I DO?

Every single person who interacts with her experiences this. But one must tread so LIGHTLY when it comes to behavior issues on the job. SO LIGHTLY! This, I am not very good at doing. See: I am honest and direct in all that I do!

Between you me oh voice of my soul? I want to tell her she is an impossibly difficult, close minded, selfish child! Because she IS! I’d also love to tell her to shut the hell up.

Sigh..but this, I cannot do anywhere but here.

Of course I was so worked up by the situation in the office and then burying my head into work to break my mental cycle that I completely forgot to do ANY of the things I was supposed to do for my parents today. Which only made me further irritated once I got home and realized it. I guess we could look at that as a silver lining because it meant I did get nicely distracted from thinking too much about that situation!! However, writing it out here last night and then doing a calming meditation had already eased that quite a bit. Now I need to do another session to get past Carmen!

Thankfully, I do this thing called running and boy did I ever need it tonight! Blew off some steam, re-focused my mind and set reminders to tackle those tasks tomorrow. Somewhere in there I did remember my promise to not blow off smaller communications that needed to get done so that was a bright spot and connections/conversations with everyone else went completely smoothly.

I am grateful for the skills I’ve learned over the past year or so to redirect my thoughts. I am grateful that the GGID group inspired me to keep a journal where I can let some of these things out!

Dear me – please give me an answer to this one though – it’s ongoing and I need to be a leader and restore peace to my office space for all of us involved.

Tomorrow is a new day. I will keep my heart and mind open to solutions and speak only with loving words.

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