When I sat down to meditate this morning, my intention was to delve into a new aspect of the authentic me, but it seems my inner voice had different plans. Apparently, there is a need to clarify “honest to a fault” and “acting with integrity in all that I do”. Those are true, but there is another piece to that puzzle which I think explains further the reasons why my honesty is often not taken well, even when it is a positive observation.
I am direct. Unfailingly direct. In all forms of communication, I will always take the shortest line from A to B. I mean what I say, and I say what I mean. ALWAYS. And *that* is often hard for some folks to understand.
I get this, as I said last night, from my parents. We are a no BS family. Here’s an example of how we communicate and how it baffles many others (which I do understand!)
When my mom approached me with their financial needs, she tried to be cagey and approach the topic in a roundabout way, but after a bit she grew tired and basically said “So, if I told you we need financial help, what would you say?” After initially saying no, but that I would assemble the family team to think about a solution, I sent her an email the next day asking her straight out “How much do you need each month? Don’t soften it, just name the number you truly need.” I said that not that I thought she WOULD soften it – like I said, I get my directness from her, but more because I knew the follow up questions I would get from Marcus 🙂 She responded straight out “$500/mo”.
Sure enough, when I told Marcus his reaction was “but what did she mean? Is that everything? Do you think she cushioned it? Do you think that’s enough? Is that after they have cut all expenses they can?”
I swear there were more, but I’ve already forgotten, but I do know my response each times was “$500/mo. She needs $500/mo. The answer is $500/mo.” It was actually kind of funny, but I get it. His family is NOT direct. I know it sounds bad to say this, but they are game players. They keep things close to the vest, dance around topics, have ulterior motives a lot of the time, and just generally RARELY say exactly what they mean. And? I have found that THEY are more in the majority than my family is. So I’ve had to learn. As I did n how I framed the question to my mom so that I could finally convince Marcus that the answer was right in front of him in black and white.
So I do recognize that my *delivery* of information may be hard to absorb at first and I have worked towards softening it in certain situations. Know your audience as they say. It comes in handy though. My simple, linear way of thinking means that I am often the one who puts meetings back on track when someone whose brain works in a circular motion goes off on a tangent. I am also the person who will repeat back my understanding of what was said to make sure I *did* get it right, and to simplify it so everyone else can grasp it too. I cut through the bull shit 🙂 Even among my similarly minded accounting staff I am still the most direct. When I write up a procedure manual, I do screen shots for every single step. My staff almost always skips small steps and when I ask they say “Oh, well I figured that’s implied.” Nope, gotta write those things up as if you are teaching someone just starting out!
Is that annoying? I am sure it is, but it is not something I am going to stop doing because it has served me so well in all aspects of life. It’s truly the way to reduce drama!
Anyhow, for whatever reason my inner voice wanted that specific clarification today.
My heart and mind are open. I am honest and direct in all that I do.
Oh yes, and abundance flows freely through me – received an email from a prospective bookkeeping client today! Hopefully I will talk with him this weekend. That would sure bring us closer to that $500/mo 🙂