Dear me – wowie what a day huh?
Super focused on some very cool stuff at work. Actually FOCUSED – didn’t let anything distract me which was hard because social media was going off and I was in the thick of some of it. It’s not often that I engage on things on Twitter, but some folks I truly respect & admire (and have met in real life many times) were hip deep and it was pretty fascinating and I have OPINIONS 🙂
But – I stayed the course, listened 100% to a very valuable webinar, took tons of notes and waited until lunch to wade in, and even then I thought I waded in very gently. But, I felt I needed to at least write out my thoughts in longer format than 140 characters so I dusted off politics and culture blog and spit out the opinions I have. And, they are MINE. All MINE. Was I *influenced* by twitter? Well yes, but that was ages ago when I was exposed to different people and different mindsets. Once I saw things from their perspective, I couldn’t UN-see it. Several other time when the topic has come up, I’ve drafted posts about it, but never finished. This time, I pulled in some of those old write ups and threw something up on my site referencing the current example.
And what did I get for that? Frankly I expected nothing. I only have a few hundred real twitter followers. That blog, as I said, had to be dusted off so has like, NO regular following. I didn’t title it, or tag it in a way that would make it link bait of any kind. A handful of close friends would read it and move on. It was simply a brain dump so that *I* could move on from the topic. Turned out, a couple of twitter friends took issue with what I wrote and proceeded to let me know. Now, debate I can handle – I think it is fun and I always learn from it. That outside perspective right? But this wasn’t debate – this turned personal and fast. They used lots of “you” statements and inferred so much into my words! They put words in my mouth, and then the flat out insulted my intelligence accusing me of ONLY writing that post BECAUSE of what others were saying on twitter. As if I don’t have a mind and opinions of my own. Nice. Respectful debate? Pshaw! I never resorted to that. Just responded with some shock and told them flat out they were insulting me and they just basically said “Well, if you feel that way, that’s your issue”. Nice victim blaming there 🙂 When I saw how callously they reacted to me telling them flat out that they were hurting me, I was done.
Luckily, while I had been “friends” with them for a few years, I don’t know them, hell they don’t even use their real names and pictures on the site. So I just moved them off my timeline and will be done with it after this last brain dump of the little bit of shock & hurt I felt from their accusations.
What was pretty awesome about it all though is that I managed to juggle that AND respond to folks at work with continued thoughtfulness and good humor. I didn’t let the little tussle I was having impact my interactions with the real life folks around me. When Marcus came over for our run, we still had a great time and talked about EVERYTHING under the sun EXCEPT that because I didn’t want to waste energy on that issue with him.
That’s all kind of a break through for me because in the past I would have been much more impacted by the argument. I would have absorbed the barbs thrown my way and internalized them and analyzed the conversation with other people to get validation for my feelings and even question whether they were right about me or not. Meanwhile anyone else who tried to talk to me would have been greeted with a truly cranky & impatient person!
My heart and mind are open and I speak with loving words. Even when under the microscope of judgment 🙂