JGID Journal, Day 1

February 2015 beginss with FOCUS, ABUNDANCE, DISCOVERY

Codes:  🙂 is Happy/Good, =: is Stress,  😦 is Sad/Bad. xx = Resistance, WF is Warm Fuzzies and GoF is Girl on Fire.

Woke up still feeling blindsided/stressed from night before. Wrote out pillars in this mindset spilling some of my angst/panic out onto the page. Needed to meditate & get my day started and find a way to turn my head around so that I could enjoy each moment, but also work on solutions to the problem at hand. So, then the day unfolded:

🙂 Listening to advice of a friend and changing up my meditation track from unguided to guided to help deal with financial worries rushing in. Being open to advice = keep doing that!

🙂 + WF – Birding wins during a trail run. Hovering Black Shouldered Kite at eye level and the a flock of cedar waxwings in a tree above our cars after. Could clearly hear and see them so I took tons of photos and a video to share with another friend who loves those birds. I do love the thrill of seeing and identifying birds!

WF =  A wonderful afternoon with friends watching the Super Bowl. Love it when a Sunday afternoon works out that way. Feeling more confident about making that happen – less scared about extending the invitation anyway!

GoF = after cleaning up from having friends over, sat down to watch some tap videos as I pondered how to make my Big Scary goal happen this month. Found a video of a tap dance step that tickled the corners of my memory. Waltz Clog, AKA, step shuffle ball change. I watched the video trying to mimic the foot movements while still sitting. Then I stood up and tried again. Awkward. I can see it in my head how it should work, but I was thinking about it too much and fumbling. Take a deep breath, run the video again, relax my ankles and….it was like someone else took my body like a puppet and pulled the strings into just the right places. And in that moment, I was dancing again. No thought, no fumbling, just fluid movements and precise taps on the floor (in my socks on carpet of course, but that feeling came rushing back to me – it was ON). I put my arms up and lifted my chin and just GRINNED. Oh yeah, this feels GOOD. Yes, dancing – I need to keep doing THIS.

Ending the day now tired, spent, but feeling more alive & connected again. Had a conversation with oldest about the situation to outline his role in the family situation and how he can help,. Sent out a specific request to the Universe and the family to focus all prayers/meditations/affirmations/visualizations on ONE issue that will unlock some abundance for us. That is about the best I can do on this day.

I am ever grateful for opportunities to be with positive people, enjoy an activity that allows me to appreciate the beauties of nature, and the wonders of modern technology which allows me to teach myself how to dance again (for free).

Those are the abundances that flowed freely through me today.

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