Drawing from your observation notes and sentences from Journal Writing Assignments 1 and 2, write a description of the scene you have observed. Use action verbs and active voice in your sentences. Also, keep your verbs in the same tense and maintain correct subject-verb agreement. Your description should consist of 8 or more sentences.
Followed the Assignment:
- 0 points: Student does not describe a scene.
- 3 points: Student describes a scene.
Number of Sentences:
- 0 points: Description contains less than 5 sentences.
- 2 points: Description contains between 5 and 7 sentences.
- 4 points: Description contains 8 or more sentences.
- 0 points: Three (3) or more verbs are not action verbs and three (3) or fewer action verbs.
- 2 points: Four (4) of the verbs are action verbs.
- 3 points: Five (5) or more verbs are action verbs.
- 0 points: Three (3) or more of the sentences are not in active voice.
- 2 Points: Four (4) sentences are in active voice.
- 3 Points: Five (5) or more sentences are in active voice.
Consistent Verb Tense:
- 0 points: Verb tense shifts three or more times.
- 2 points: Verb tense shifts one (1) or two (2) times.
- 3 points: Verb tense is consistent.
Subject – Verb Agreement:
- 0 points: Description contains three or more subject-verb agreement errors.
- 2 points: Description contains one or two subject-verb agreement errors.
- 4 points: Description contains no subject-verb agreement errors.
Curt holds the elevator door open and lets Tiffany, Chelsea and Brian walk out ahead of him. As they chat with other and walk towards their desks, the maintenance worker is up on his step ladder changing a light in the ceiling. Laughter bursts out as the group reacts to a story Curt just told from his weekend activities, and then the maintenance worker’s cell phone buzzes loudly. He folders up his ladder rather hurriedly making a clattering sound and rushes out to another office. Lisa hums to herself softly as she listens to music on her ipod while making a fresh pot of coffee for her group. Ingrid is talking on her desk phone reserving a room to use later in the day for a birthday celebration for Tiffany. There are balloons and streamers decorating Tiffany’s desk, and she lets out a little squeal of delight when she sees them. Meanwhile, no one notices Cathy who has been seated at her desk, reading an office memo quietly, oblivious to all the activity around her.
In your journal, continue your observation list of the scene you observed for Unit 3, Journal Assignment 1 by noting several vivid action verbs. Revise some of your sentences using action verbs and/or write 2-3 new sentences with action verbs. Try not to use any of the forms of “to be” (is, are, was, etc.). Underline the action verbs in your sentences.
I’ll focus on the scene with more potential for writing a longer narrative – the office:
Of course, I had already used action verbs! But, I can revise them anyway.
- He rushes back to his office as his cell phone buzzes.
- Laughter bursts out as the co-workers tell stories from the weekend.
- She reads quietly at her desk despite all the noise around her.
The formal assignment is to go somewhere with a lot of activity and describe what you see in 5-6 subject/verb sentences. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to just take off and head to the mall or the park and do that 🙂 So, it’s going to have to be things that pop in my head around the house Monday night at home and Tuesday at work.
- The boy carries his laundry upstairs.
- The cat plays with the plastic water bottle cap.
- He rushes back to his office.
- Laughter bursts out.
- She reads quietly at her desk.
The flowers bloom.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The sweet scent of the star jasmine flowers that bloom profusely along the red cedar fence beckons the frequently scattered family to step outside eagerly for an impromptu, relaxing afternoon picnic in their welcoming backyard.
The woman walks
The elderly woman walks briskly up the path leading to a neighborhood park where the sounds of youthful voices rise with anticipation and balls popping into gloves signal the beginning of her grandson’s little league game.
Write sentences using the lists of nouns,adjectives, verbs & adverbs:
Tiffany is singing loudly as I try to concentrate on choosing pictures for my Spring calendar.
My teen son will never read a homework assignment carefully so his grades in school are rarely above a C.
The stimulating music inspires the group to begin dancing happily.
More parts of speech – verbs and adverbs observed as I sit at work 🙂
- is (surprised)
Pardon me while I highjack this blog for my writing course. It’s easier than setting up another whole site 🙂
Assignment #1 – A list of 5-10 nouns and adjectives observed during my lunch hour at work: